CHAPTER 8
Up until now, my only mental picture of Oktoberfest was entirely based on a jovial Clark Griswold up on a small wooden stage getting slapped around by a bunch of burley German fellows dressed in short shorts and suspenders. It turns out that that little scene in European Vacation can in no way prepare you for the sheer enormity and unrestrained intemperance of the actual Oktoberfest.
It was Jake and Jackie’s second dip into this debauchery, and as such they knew a few tricks that a wide eyed green horn might have bungled. The most important being: buy an outfit- a real outfit- not one of those cheap Halloween-style knockoffs. And so we did. I think it was the second most expensive costume I’ve ever purchased, right behind the suit I wore at my wedding. A snappy pair of genuine leather lederhosen; the highest quality Bavarian style dress shirt, complete with elk-horn buttons; and a pair of hand sewn, I’m sure, woolen socks that cost more than the shoes that I was wearing them in. But, let me tell you right now… it was totally worth it! Walking out of the U-bahn into the early morning sunlight, surrounded by masses of jaunty Bavarians, dressed head to toe as a true umpa-lumpa, ready to take on any number of liter-steins of beer, meter long hot-dogs, or pretzels the size of a steering wheels- I felt on top of the world!
We would only be in town for a weekend, the last weekend of the 3 week festival it turned out, but even so, the crowds were as energetic and thirsty as if it were opening day. The trick with Oktoberfest is that it is so popular, you need to reserve a table months in advance if you have any desire to sit inside one of the monolithic beer tents. We, unfortunately, were not that on top of the ball, so were relegated to the tables outside. I felt a little shorthanded by this at first- it was rather calm out in the beer garden at 9am, and I would have preferred to be inside where all the action was going on. But the weather was great, the drinks and food kept coming, and by the early afternoon, the outside tables had turned into a seething mass of merry makers- easily as entertaining to be a part of as inside the tent. Well, suffice it to say, we ate and drank a lot. We took embarrassing photos. And we probably did even more embarrassing things, that luckily did not end up on film. By the end of the day, I was convinced that this was an experience of a life time… and this was just day 1!
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